Some Thoughts...

Gratuitous Neil Gaiman Quote from here.

So here's the thing: I haven’t been loving my blog of late.  It feels like its lacking something (my attention maybe?) and I am disappointed in it’s general direction.  I feel like it’s not an accurate reflection of what I love because I don’t have the time or make the time to post more personal, thoughtful things.  I loved putting together Sunday’s Things I Love posts in the beginnng but now I worry that they are exposing me as someone who really doesn’t have a lot to say.  Or worse, someone shallow without any real opinions.  I think that in someways, it’s because I have been too nervous to actually put myself out there in case *shock, horror* someone doesn’t like or approve of what I have to say.  Here’s the thing though, if that’s the case, why am I bothering?  

I want my blog to be a collection of the things I love, of the things that are important to me and of real opinions about things.  Not a collection of things I want to buy or wish I had.  There is nothing wrong with that but I’m worried that that is all Bye Bye Blackbird is right now.

This isn’t a goodbye though, this is a statement of intent.  I am going to change some things in my little online world.  I am going to make a real effort to update my blog with more substance when I can and if I can.  Things I Love is going to become a less regular feature and I am going to channel the energy that I direct there every week into posts that I have been wanting to write for ages but don’t seem to find the time for. 

Life is busy at the moment and in order for me to do all the things that I love, I have to tweak a few things to make them fit.  Now that I am officially part of the Miss-fits Roller Derby Team, (go like our page *hint, hint*) I train twice a week instead of just once.  I am doing a particularly tough course at varsity this semester that ends with a research project.  Jason and I are moving to an amazing new flat in just under a month and my mom and my brother will be following my dad to France in the very near future.  And I want to be able to see friends, have a social life and possibly sleep too.  So you might see less of me here (not that I have been super present just recently) but I promise that it’ll be worth hanging around for.

Some Writing Advice

Sometimes I get stuck and I don't know what to write - not for the blog, not for myself, not even for work and that's usually the easiest of the three because they pretty much tell me exactly what they want.  Anyway, while browsing around for some inspiring writing advice, I found this suggestion from Ernest Hemingway:

                                             Source: casualoptimist.com via Monique on Pinterest

I'm not sure how useful this really is but it did make me smile:) For some more writing advice from famous authors check out this link (which I may or may not have shared before).

Happy weekend everyone!

Albino Hedgehog Love

Yesterday I went into the pet shop to buy The Stinker some food...bad idea.  They happened to have a baby albino hedgehog and it was quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.*  I have always loved the idea of having a little hedgehog buddy and it took all my willpower to leave the store with only a bag of hamster food. Just look at how cute they are:

1/2/3/4

Adorable right?  Definitely my next pet provided my next pet is not a dog.

*Probably not the cutest thing I have EVER seen but pretty close...

Currently...

New Dragon Ball Z shirt/Stinker/Shiny New Skates

I have returned!  Granted it's a few days later than I planned but still, I have returned!  I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have my exam out of the way.  I am one of those people that completely inflate situations in my head and I’d worked myself into such a panic on exam day, only to find that I had nothing to worry about in the slightest!  Go figure!!  Anyway, I thought a Currently post would be a nice way to catch up so here we go:

Reading: Right now I am in between three different things.  First of all, I am halfway through Moby Dick which I am finding so, so tough.  I am just way too tired at night right now to make much more progress which is why I am also reading The Buddha of Suburbia.  This was one of the first books I read for last semester’s course and I read it so quickly I hardly got a chance to absorb it.  It’s a funny and easy read which makes it a perfect alternate to Moby Dick.  Lastly, I've been catching up on the happenings of the Marvel universe.  Fun times:)

Listening to: Today I am trying the new Editors album The Weight of Love on for size.  It’s got quite an eighties feel to it but so far I am enjoying it.  I will keep you posted.  I've also been listening to A LOT of The National and I've finally found a favourite song on the new album:

 

Thinking about:  How unpredictable life is - in the best possible and worst possible way.  I'm not really going to expand on that but, as cheesy as it sounds, make sure the people you love know it.  That is all.

Watching:  I am still kind of obsessed with The Walking Dead.  Seriously, I can’t get enough of this show.  I am on to season 2 now and every single episode just leaves me dying for more!   We’ve also started watching Happy Endings which is quite fun.

Looking forward to:  Trying out my new skates!  Yesterday I bought myself a shiny new pair of roller skates.  I am almost done with my six weeks of Fresh Meat training for roller derby and decided it was time to get my own pair.  They are pink and white and remind me of marshmallows (see above)!  I am hoping that having my own skates will help me get more steady on my feet.  It also makes it easier for me to practice.  I still need padding and a helmet though...

Loving: Raisin tumbles, my new Dragon Ball Z t-shirt, not having to study until the end of July, getting into a warm bed at night, fresh bread and playing my favourite songs over and over and over and....

This post is inspired by the ones over at Sometimes Sweet.  You can check out the latest one here.

Currently...

new tights, happy hamster, angry birds awesomeness

Reading:  By The Sea by Abdulrazak Gurnah.  This is one of my varsity books and I'm planning on writing my second essay on it so I am busy rereading it in light of the essay topic.  I am also reading copious amount of articles on diasporic literature.  Don't you wish you were me?  Kidding!  Despite the fact that everything is coming to a head in June, I am still loving this course and I appreciate the variety of stories I've been exposed to.  In between all of that I am trying to read for my own enjoyment too.  I have just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I LOVED it.  Look out for a 10 Books Update soon!!

Wondering:  I feel like I may have said this before but I've been thinking a lot about growing up just recently.  I think it's a combination of turning 30 in October and the fact that things are really starting to happen for my folks in terms of their move.  I feel simultaneously too old to be dealing with some of the nonsense that I am and too young to be dealing with other things.  Like why do people keep asking us to have kids?  Surely I am not old enough to even think about kids...except that I am.  Anyway, the point of this little ramble is that growing up is strange.

Feeling thankful for:  I apologise in advance for the mush but what I am really thankful for at the moment is Jason.  I am thankful for the fact that he does all the cooking, that he gives really good and level-headed advice and that he puts up with me when I am being very, very difficult!

Watching:  The Walking Dead!  When it comes to series, I am a very late adopter!!  It took me about 5 seasons to catch onto The Big Bang Theory and almost equally as long to get to The Walking Dead.  Last night we watched the first episode of the second series and the ending!  Oh. My. Gosh.  I cannot believe that I have to wait until next Friday to see what happens!!

Working on:  My patience and getting out of my comfort zone.  I won't get onto why I'm working on my patience here but I can tell you about getting out of my comfort zone.  My friend is part of a local roller derby league here in Durban and she has been inviting me to their practices for the longest time.  Thing is, I am really awkward when it comes to meeting new people and I am very far from athletic (aka I am clumsy to the extreme).  Anyway, last week Thursday I thought to hell with it and when to a derby fitness thing and it was awesome.  I nearly died but it was awesome.  I am going back on Thursday and hopefully getting onto skates.  I'll let you know how that goes!

Loving:  The cooler weather and the fact that I can wear tights (see above), Tumbles with raisins, reaching 100 workouts at gym, finding the perfect blue jeans,  getting to know some awesome new people and the fact that the salon I go to has a resident Dalmatian called Jeffery.  

These Currently posts are inspired by the ones over at Sometimes Sweet.  You can see the latest one here:)

Currently...

Feeling:  A little overwhelmed actually.  When I first started my honours they told us how, around the time of the first essay, things get a little intense.  You are reading to keep up and reading for an essay and there is just so much reading.  I didn't believe them at the time but boy, were they right!  In my mind I have Dory's Just Keep Swimming playing except I have replaced swimming with reading!!

Watching:  Old James Bond movies.  James Bond is one of my very favourite characters.  Sean Connery is my ideal Bond and Daniel Craig is my worst.  What about you?

Reading:  A lot!  Right now I am finishing off By The Sea by Abdulrazak Gurnah and I am about to start The Exploded View by Ivan Vladislavic.  I am also rereading parts of The Unbearable Lightness of Being for my essay.  I am wondering what all this extra reading will mean for my 10 Books this year...will I even have the time?

Thinking About:  This is a tough one to answer.  One thing that I really appreciate about studying again is that it's got me thinking about all sorts of things that I usually gloss over - the language in a book, the politics in an article or the references in a movie.  Sometimes it means I over think things but mostly it's just opening my eyes that little bit more to the world around me.

Eating:  Toooo much junk food.  Really, all the holidays and events of the past month have done a number on my diet.  Time to start eating better ad taking care of myself again.

Looking Forward Too:  Jason and I have tickets to The Rise of The Insanity League on Friday night.  I haven't been to the theatre in awhile and I've heard some very good things about this show.  I'll let you guys know what it's like.  Also, the Russian Ballet will be here in June!!  I've missed them the last two times they were out but I am going this time come hell or high water!

Making Me Happy:  Cooler weather, Rum and Raisin chocolate, finding a place with a Monday Macaroon special, watching Jason on stage again and making new friends.

These Currently posts are inspired by the ones over at Sometimes Sweet.  You can see her latest one here:)

Thank You for the Venom

The first time I heard My Chemical Romance was on a Rock Sound sample CD.  It was track 11 and it was Thank You for the Venom.  It was love at first listen.  Until I got my hands on the full album, I had Thank You for the Venom on repeat.  I knew every word.  My Chemical Romance was everything I was looking for in a band.  They were misfits, they liked the same things I liked, their music spoke to me (that sounds terribly cheesy but I am going to go with it because it’s true) and it was loud, fast and awesome.  Plus their name had a literary reference.

Helena became my end of work anthem because MTV showed the video everyday just before the music store I was working at closed.  Jason and I used to stand and watch that video together and wait for the day to end way back when we were still just friends.   I’m Not Okay became my way to let everyone know that, actually, I wasn’t okay with where my life was going and that something needed to change.  Singing those words was more than just enjoying the song, it was telling the truth.  I played Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge so often that one of my friends even made me a “You Need a New Band” compilation to try and wean me off of them!!

I followed everything they did, through the Black Parade and that weird death cult drama to the way more upbeat Danger Days which made me want to dye my hair bright red again and run around with a laser gun.  I am lame like that.  Did I mention I wore a glittery Revenge bracelet for months just because I saw one on Gerard Way’s wrist in a video clip?  Yeah, that happened.  The point is that they were always there in the background, a soundtrack to my adult life and all the changes it would (and did) bring. 

This weekend, the band issued the following statement on their website:

"Being in this band for the past 12 years has been a true blessing. We've gotten to go places we never knew we would. We've been able to see and experience things we never imagined possible. We've shared the stage with people we admire, people we look up to, and best of all, our friends. And now, like all great things, it has come time for it to end. Thanks for all of your support, and for being part of the adventure."

Without much of an explanation, without a reason why, the band I have loved with all my heart since the day I first heard them is gone.  I am sad because there will be no new album to accompany me into my thirties, I am sad because I will never see them live but I am also glad that I found them in the first place and that the music doesn’t go away just because the band aren’t together anymore!  

Anyway, if you are interested this is a pretty good In Memoriam post from MTV.  Needless to say I will be doing some pretty obsessive MCR googling over the next few days to see what other reactions or reasons might surface.  In the meantime, I will leave you with a few of my favourite videos:

Are there any bands that you feel this passionately about?  Let me know in the comments so that I don’t feel like an overdramatic weirdo…

Currently...

A new coaster for my desk, gratuitous hamster photo, Saturday morning reading

Watching:  Right now I am rather obsessed with Pawn Stars and Storage Wars on the History Channel.  I never really paid much attention to them but when Jason and I were off sick two weeks ago, we got totally sucked in.  Out of the two I think I prefer Pawn Stars.  I can’t believe all the random things people bring in to sell!!

Thinking About:  Being an adult and doing adulty things. Every now and again I get the feeling that I am a small person playing at being an adult.  I look at the things I do every day, the things happening around me and my increased responsibility at work and find myself thinking “How am I old enough for this??”  Other days, I get on with my job, sorting out my life and being married without it even crossing my mind.  Does this ever happen to anyone else?  

Reading:  Life, The Universe and Everything.  One of the books on my 10 Books List for 2013 is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  My friend was kind enough to lend me her boxset so I thought I’d tackle all of them.  While I loved Hitchhiker's, I am finding the rest a little hard to get through.  I am also reading Blog Inc which I have heard so many good things about.  I am still in the early stages (setting up your blog etc) but I will keep you posted.

Celebrating:  The fact that I have been accepted to do my Honours in English.  Hooray!!  I can’t even explain how excited/nervous I am about this.  I know that I can do it and I am excited about being forced to think in a different way but I am also a little socially awkward and meeting new people always makes me nervous.

Making Me Happy:  Pictures of bunnies and sad pugs on the internet.  I’ve said it before but if the internet’s sole purpose was the dissemination of cute animal pictures, I would be okay with that.  Also making me happy?  Playing Ratchet & Klank again from the very beginning, my terrarium, marshmallow Easter eggs, watching The Avengers AGAIN and the idea of buying cute stationary for varsity.  

These currently posts are inspired by the ones over at Sometimes Sweet.  You can check out the most recent one here:)

Things To Look Forward To In 2013

There is a whole lot happening this year that I am really, really excited about so I thought I would let you in on a few:

Studying:  In October last year I applied to do my Honours in English part-time.  There has been a bit of a bugger up with my application so I am really hoping this is still an option for me this year.  Please keep your fingers crossed!

New Biffy Clyro:  If you haven't heard Biffy Clyro yet, you need to go and listen to them immediately!  I recommend starting with The Captain off of Only Revolutions.  They have a new album called Opposites due out this month and I am really looking forward to hearing it!  Here's the first single, Black Chandelier:

Colli's Wedding:  One of my bestest bests is getting married in March to an awesome guy and I get to be her Maid of Honour.  I am so excited to be able to share in their happiness and to catch up with old friends.

Rise Against and RAMfest:  You guys must be so tired of hearing me go on about this but I couldn't be more excited about the fact that Rise Against are actually playing in my city and we already have tickets for it!  Just thinking about it makes me want to play every album I own and jump around our flat!!

Adventure Time Funko Pop Vinyl:  I have mentioned these before but I am still desperately awaiting a release date or an option to pre-order the awesome Funko Pop Adventure Time figurines.  I neeeeeeed Marceline in my life.

source

The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys:  My Chemical Romance is my favourite band of all time.  Really, all the rest are a distant second to these guys.  Anyway, in 2010 they released an album called Danger Days:  The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.  The comic book tie-in for this album is a collaboration between Gerard Way, Shaun Simon and Becky Cloonan and it's finally being released in June this year!  Seriously, if anyone can get me a copy of the preview that will be released on Free Comic Book day, I would be the happiest person ever!  Check out this interview with Gerard Way to get a sneak peak at the artwork.  Also awesome?  The fact that he is currently writing the third Umbrella Academy installment.  Happy days!!

Turning 30:  This is a weird one because I always thought I would have major issues with turing 30 but as it stands right now, I am kind of looking forward to it.  Time will tell whether it becomes an issue closer to the time but I really hope it doesn't.  Everyone says that when you turn 30 you care less about the little stuff, you become more comfortable with yourself etcetera, etcetera.  While I don't assume these things just happen magically over night, anything that makes me less anxious about everything is a good thing!

What are you looking forward to this year?

New Things...

So one thing I can say about 2012  is that it's been a year full of new things - some of them good, some of them not so good.  I thought I'd share a few of those new things here:

1) I blogged.  For a whole year.  This is a pretty big thing for me because, as I have mentioned before, I've always been very nervous about writing for any kind of audience.  I took part in 30 Days of Lists, I was Geek of the Week on Chocolate & Cream Cake, I started my own feature and I even managed to finish the 5 Books I set for myself.  I am full of ideas for 2013 and I am going to use my mini break to really plot them out.  Stay tuned!

2) I joined a gym!!  This is another huge one for me.  I never played team sports and, aside from swimming, have a well documented disdain for public exercise.  However, after failing at early morning yoga and breaking my stepper, I was left with no choice but to join Curves!  I can honestly say that it was a great experience.  The branch I go to are super friendly and there is zero pressure to look great at gym.  It's basically perfect for me.

3) I crashed the car...

4) And we bought a new one.  Yup, that was my first accident in almost 8 years of driving.  As bummed as I was to part with the old car, it was just the motivation we needed to upgrade to a bigger, more powerful car.  It's also pretty much the best colour ever!

5) I studied.  For the first time since varsity, I applied my mind and learnt a new skill namely Conceptual Writing for Brands.  I learnt a lot, met some cool people and got great feedback on my writing abilities.

6) I got a hamster!!  After years of mice, I switched to a different variety of rodent and I can honestly say that Rolo is an awesome dog substitute.  He is so small but has so much character even though he can be a little savage!!

7) I made a Totoro plushie.  Using a pattern I found online, I managed to make a passable version of Totoro!!  He turned out quite well, even if I do say so myself.  I hadn't sewed for years and I forgot how cool it is too make something from scratch like that.  I am planning a Domo and a Pikachu in the very near future.

8) I visited a new province.  In July my mom, dad and I took a roadtrip to Mpumalanga, place of poorly marked roads, tons of sugar cane  and cute pups.  It was great fun travelling with my folks, visiting with my cousins and seeing a new part of South Africa.

8) I discovered Wakaberry.  Oh how I love frozen yoghurt!!  That is all.

9) I finally went up the stadium.  If you ask me, Moses Mabidha stadium is on of the coolest things to come from the 2010 Soccer World Cup.  I love it so much.  In February, my friend Sam and I took the Sky Car trip to the top.  Highly recommended!

And that's just a small sample of what I got up too.  In 2013 I am going to be a Maid of Honour for the first time, I have another tattoo lined up, Rise Against are coming, I'll have a junior technical writer assisting me at work and I am hoping to work up the nerve to try Roller Derby.  Plus I'll be 30!!  On paper it's looking like a good year already!

The Small Things...

The other day, I woke up on the wrong side of bed.  You know those days where everything seems wrong and annoying and out to get you?  It was undoubtedly one of those.  After a very frustrating morning in my office, I decided to take my bad mood on an excursion and hopefully leave it somewhere when it wasn’t looking.  Anyway, I headed out to the Woolies just up the road to get some lunch and not only did I meet the friendliest lady in the queue but I spotted this super cute little succulent:

I took it back to my office, put it on my desk and, as lame as this might sound, it totally brightened up my day!  It got me thinking how more often than not, it’s the small things – messages from friends, Hello Panda sweets or an awesome pink Star Wars shirt for super cheap – that can rescue you from your own pity party.  Either that or I have completely lost my marbles;)

5 Books Update: The Bell Jar

You know what I have realised about these 5 Books Updates?  They are much harder to write than I expected.  Granted I’ve only done two of these so far but I find that putting my thoughts about a book into words a little strange.  So if I say something a bit uninformed or silly, bear with me.  I think I might have to rethink this process for next year’s 5 Books!

Moving along, I wish I had read The Bell Jar when I was younger.  Starting varsity maybe or finishing school.  Like Esther, I often felt like I was trapped under a bell jar "stewing in my own sour air".  So I guess you can say that is what I enjoyed about the book; the fact that I can see my younger and slightly odd self in it.  Although, truth be told, I was mostly just over-dramatic.  Anyway, the part of the book that I most identified with was the part about the fig tree:

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.  From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.  One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.  I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.  I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

  ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

This is something that I can definitely relate to today.  Not so much in other areas of my life but when it comes to writing and what I do for a living, I still worry about focusing on one particular option and how that might limit something else.  I enjoy my job but there is part of me that is still not 100% committed because I worry that if I spend too much of my time as a technical writer that I will get stuck and never get a chance to be more creative.  Maybe it’s a silly fear but its very real, especially now in the last year of my twenties when I should technically have this stuff figured out! Ha!

In the end, I actually feel like I rushed my reading of The Bell Jar and missed out on a whole lot.  I definitely need to read it again, maybe with more attention.  One thing I can say is that reading The Bell Jar has made me really want to get a better acquainted with Sylvia Plath's work.  I have read a few of her poems at school, at varsity and just for the pleasure of it but there is a whole unexplored world of writing that I feel like I should know.  Anybody have any recommendations on where to start?